Parenting Coordinator and Decision Maker
Parenting coordination is a process that aims to assist divorced or separated parents in resolving disputes related to their children, with the goal of promoting the best interests of the children. Parenting coordination interventions typically involve a trained professional, often a mental health professional or lawyer, who works with the parents to develop and implement a parenting plan.
A Parenting Coordinator (PC) (CRS § 14-10-128.1) is a neutral third party with appropriate training and qualifications who helps parents resolve disputes concerning parental responsibilities while putting the child's best interest first. These disputes may include, among others, the implementation of court-ordered parenting plans. A Decision Maker (DM) is a professional who has court ordered authority to make decisions that will benefit the child. A Decision Maker is appointed by the Court when both parents fail to come to a reasonable agreement. More regarding this role can be found in CRS § 14-10-128.3
Parenting Coordinators provide advice and support to parents whose relationship has become so strained that they need to be protected from each other. By helping parents get along better and encouraging them to cooperate on issues relating to their children, parent coordination aims to help high-conflict parents work together - sparing children from being cut off from one of their parents.
Most parents caught in high conflict will envision a better story and are open to rewriting their family narrative if they are offered meaningful choices in the matter. I am passionate about helping parents disconnect from negative cycles that have been perpetuated over time beyond anyone’s ability or desire to stop them and help families find solutions and avoid long and expensive court battles.
If you seeking a PC(DM) appointment:
-
To schedule a PC(DM) appointment, please provide a copy of the court order and include specific details such as my name (John Tzanos, PhD) as the appointed PC or (PC/DM). The appointment length should not exceed 2 years from the time of appointment, and any fee arrangements made by the court regarding fee division between the parties should be included.
-
I offer a complimentary meeting to discuss the PC/DM service agreement, add any necessary agreements, and address any concerns. Once formal consent and payment are received, we can schedule our next appointment.
-
Please provide any relevant documents such as court documents, Parental Responsibilities Evaluations (PREs), and other evaluation reports to be reviewed. I am here to help and look forward to working with you.
High Conflict Divorce
Divorce and remarriage can have a significant impact on children, adults, and families. Here are some of the effects that have been observed:
Effects on children:
-
Emotional distress: Children of divorced parents may experience emotional distress, such as anxiety, depression, and anger.
-
Behavioral problems: Children may exhibit behavioral problems, such as aggression, delinquency, and poor academic performance.
-
Adjustment issues: Children may have difficulty adjusting to changes in their living arrangements, routines, and relationships.
-
Health problems: Children of divorced parents may experience more health problems, such as headaches, stomachaches, and sleep disturbances.
-
Relationship issues: Children may struggle with forming and maintaining relationships, and may have trust issues.
Effects on adults:
-
Emotional distress: Adults may experience emotional distress, such as depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
-
Financial issues: Divorce can have a significant financial impact on adults, including loss of income, increased expenses, and property division.
-
Co-parenting challenges: Adults may struggle with co-parenting, including communication, conflict resolution, and decision-making.
-
Social stigma: Divorced adults may experience social stigma and discrimination, especially in more traditional or conservative communities.
Effects on families:
-
Changes in family dynamics: Divorce and remarriage can significantly change the dynamics of a family, including roles, responsibilities, and relationships.
-
Financial strain: Divorce can create financial strain for the entire family, including children and extended family members.
-
Conflict and tension: Divorce and remarriage can create conflict and tension within the family, especially if there are disputes over custody, visitation, or other issues.
-
Blended family challenges: Remarriage can create challenges for blended families, including adjusting to new family members, forming new relationships, and managing competing loyalties.
It is important to note that the effects of divorce and remarriage can vary widely depending on the individual circumstances of each family. While some families may experience significant challenges and difficulties, others may be able to successfully navigate these changes with relatively little disruption. Seeking support from mental health professionals, family counselors, and support groups can be helpful for individuals and families experiencing the effects of divorce and remarriage.
PC Goals
My primary goal as a PC/DM is to help parents find constructive and viable ways of searching for solutions and a better way of doing things. As long as each parent is committed to a better future for their children and themselves, our efforts will be extremely rewarding.
A Parenting Coordinator aims to help conflicted co-parents:
-
Save family resources by helping parents avoid unnecessary litigation and costs.
-
Improve the home environment, reduce child distress, and learn about children’s developmental needs.
-
Assist parents develop conflict resolution skills, and communication skills to manage their emotions for the best interest of their child.
-
Help brainstorm ideas on how to resolve issues such as rules and discipline.
-
Consult and collaborate with family service providers (lawyers, therapists, etc.) to serve family needs.
-
Help improve parenting strategies which saves time and helps families focus on their children instead of parental conflicts.
-
Negotiate appropriate post-divorce or separation boundaries.
Overall, parenting coordination interventions aim to help parents work together to create a stable and supportive environment for their children, even in the midst of a difficult separation or divorce. By providing support, education, and conflict resolution strategies, parenting coordinators can help parents navigate the challenges of co-parenting and promote positive outcomes for their children.
As a parenting coordinator, I understand the challenges and intricacies of working with high-conflict families. Your child’s world can be unpredictable and stressful and my aim is to help you navigate through this difficult time. I am continually engaged in professional development, reading and consulting with other professionals to further hone my skills in the areas of mediation, parenting coordination, working with high-conflict parents, domestic violence, intimate partner violence and child abuse.